No matter whether you ended your relationship a week ago or five months ago, you are probably already feeling a slight terror as February 14 is slowly approaching.
Spending your first Valentine’s Day as a single girl can be stressful and hard to deal with. It’s not enough to simply isolate yourself on that day – the excitement of the upcoming holiday starts much earlier, with stores filled with teddy bears, flower bouquets and cheesy love cards.
Even Facebook and Instagram are filled with photos of couples expressing their love for each other – it’s like all social media are working against you.
Well, Valentine’s Day doesn’t have to be a sad day for a freshly single girl. Making it through that day without your ex can turn out to be a lot more fun than you expect.
Celebrate love in general
Remember, Valentine’s Day is not just about romantic love and your significant other; it’s about love for your family and friends. People close to you should feel you appreciate them, so focus on them that day.
When was the last time you spent a lovely evening with your parents, took out your sister for lunch or organized a movie night for your friends?
Start with making a list of people you are thankful for having them in your life. Then send them a heart-warming message, telling them how lucky you are to have them in your life.
You can spend Valentine’s Day with any of the people from your list, sharing the love for one another. And you can later say for sure that you haven’t wasted that day at all.
Switch the focus onto yourself
The truth is that being in a relationship makes you do a lot of things together, which often means making compromises and doing fewer things you personally enjoy.
Now that you are single, the period around Valentine’s Day is perfect for showing yourself some love. Remind yourself of the things you haven’t done for a while, things that make you feel good, and start devoting some time to those activities.
For example, take a long, warm bath, enjoying good music and glass of wine all by yourself. Spend a day in the spa, pampering yourself with a great massage, sauna, and a swimming pool. Go shopping for things that make you happy, go watch a movie or attend a concert you wouldn’t go to with your ex.
There are many things you stopped doing while being in a relationship, and this is the right time to go back to them and love yourself selfishly.
Give yourself a present
On Valentine’s Day, people often give presents to others but it isn’t a rule set in stone. Self-Love is also a form of love and Valentine’s Day is the perfect day to treat yourself with something just like you would do for your significant other or any other person that you love.
If you love flower bouquets, no reason why you shouldn’t treat yourself by ordering roses online. Flowers always put a smile on our faces, so no need to wait for somebody else to give them to you.
In case you have already bought a present for your ex that you didn’t get a chance to give, return the present and spend the money on yourself instead. That would make the perfect balance between your former and present self.
If you want to big, organize a day trip for Valentine’s Day. It doesn’t have to be a far-away vacation but just a nearby location where you can experience something new. Turn Valentine’s Day into an adventure for yourself, discovering new places and maybe meeting new, interesting people.
Organize a girls’ night out
If you think for a bit, there must be a friend of yours who is also single on Valentine’s Day, so why not go out for a night of sheer fun and dance? Maybe your friend is also newly single, so she will understand better than anyone hoy you feel right now.
Plan your evening together in detail and spend it celebrating yourself and your single life. Remind yourselves how fun it is to go wherever you want, without having to discuss it with your significant other first, flirting with those you find cute and simply enjoying the single life.
Don’t feel tempted to idealize your former relationship
The worst thing you could do around Valentine’s Day is starting regretting or breaking up. You may start idealizing your ex, focusing only on his good sides, remembering only the good stuff. Suddenly, you may feel depressed and frustrated about ending everything, doubting your decision. And wishing you could try again.
Don’t let yourself spiral like this. Remember the truth and the undeniable fact – if things were truly so great, you wouldn’t break up in the first place. Your ex did have some faults that you couldn’t turn your blind eye on, or maybe the two of you were simply too different to last.
When you notice that negative train of thought overcoming you, remind yourself that the relationship wasn’t doing you any good anymore. In other words, being single is better than being in a bad relationship.
Recognize the fact – it’s just a day
Finally, February 14 is just one of the 365 days in a year. It is not the day that should form you as a person. It doesn’t mean that being alone on Valentine’s means you should identify yourself as a lonely person. Every single day is a chance for you to be happy, love yourself and meet somebody new.
Once you realize that it’s just a day like any other, you’ll take a lot of its power. It won’t put you in a bad mood and make you feel unworthy.
All in all
Valentine’s Day is, before everything else, a holiday of love – love for family, friends, and for yourself. Celebrate that love and be thankful you feel it. That’s the best strategy if you want to avoid Valentine’s Day depression.
Alex is fascinated with “understanding” people. It’s actually what drives everything he does. He believes in a thoughtful exploration of how you shape your thoughts, experience of the world.